There Was a Time . . .

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This is something I don’t speak often on, not even to my family or closest of friends.

There was a time, when I was in the homeless shelters in Washington and Pennsylvania, where I felt under constant emotional, spiritual, and mental attack, mainly by family. I had this mental imagery at times of me on the ground, a shield poised over my head and my torso while I curled underneath it for better protection against the onslaught of not living up to anyone else’s standards. It was almost relentless, in a sense, too.

Who, in their sane minds, ever becomes homeless? Willingly becomes homeless? In the eyes of some, that’s rather suspicious. In the eyes of others, it’s insanity.

My reasons were not so nefarious, not even a little, and, honestly, with where I was at the point in my life when I hauled myself from Michigan to Washington and finally to Pennsylvania, I had no respect for home. I had no respect for what home meant. When you live with other people your entire life, you take the concept of home for granted. It’s just something that’s there. Most of the time, it takes something drastic to happen – foreclosure and/or eviction; natural disaster; fire – in order for people to appreciate what they’ve had when it comes to home.

Now, not only did I lack that respect, but I was guided. It sounds crazy, and, personally, that’s okay with me. I haven’t always fit in with what’s considered normal in American society anyway, so this is just one more thing to add to that bucket of my oddities. People won’t always understand, either, when a person is guided to do something, so this was just one more thing for those who didn’t understand to use against me as a weapon during the time that I was homeless. (Homeless person speaking out on the biggest causes of the homeless problem in the U.S.? Oh my. In the minds of many, it’s your own fault for improper planning and you shouldn’t expect charity or sympathy for your own decisions . . . never mind what was said actually had nothing to do with the rants against me when I did speak out.)

There is always a time when I voice my opinion to someone, my stance on life, and someone, usually a man, will tell me that I will end up alone in life because I refuse to “see” what it is that’s being said. And, yes, nine times out of ten, a man is telling me that I will be lonely for sticking by my beliefs.

One thing I have found to be true is we can be surrounded by those who love us, those who agree with our opinions, and we’re still feeling alone in this world. I have friends and family who agree with me on many subjects, but that doesn’t stop the loneliness from coming in and trying to crush me. I find such remarks about me ending up alone later in life to be control, manipulation, and gaslighting attempts. Why? Like I said, I’ve been amongst people who agree with me, who believe the same way that I do, who even respect and value my thoughts and me as a human being, and I still feel alone at times. I offer hugs every so often to random strangers.

I struggle with overwhelming emotions and anxiety. I’ve built walls around myself from an early age so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of others. I’ve known for many years now that what we want and what we need are two separate things, that they are not mutually exclusive.

Now, the days of feeling constantly under attack, like if I try to remove that feeble wooden shield and to stand that everything will resume all over again, are mostly over. But it’s still there with me. The feeling of attack hasn’t ended. I just have a stronger sense of myself than what I did four years ago.

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Call Me a Bitch One More Time! XD LOL. Oh, and there’s more!

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Long time no see in all of this. Life has been rather busy and draining lately. I’m looking to make some changes to alleviate all of that.

You know what’s really hard to do in life? Insult someone who has already laid claim to the word you’re trying to use an insult. About two months ago (give or take a bit), through a former mutual friend, some guy took it upon himself to act childish and start lashing out at others in an attempt to defend the former mutual friend. This guy’s attempted to insult me by calling me an asshole, green-lipt geek. Yes, lipped is spelled wrong. That’s precisely how he spelled it.

Here’s the thing: Yes, there are times when I’m an asshole, and I know it. Asshole isn’t necessarily a common attempted insult for a woman, but it does happen. (From the throwback machine, one of my former co-workers when I worked in a factory told me her boyfriend called her an asshole once. Shocked her. In the end, she found it funny, and I did as well.)

Oh, and in my profile picture on Facebook, I’m wearing green lipstick. That was quite intentional. I actually experiment with effects when applying my makeup for work. I’ve been called a mermaid, an unicorn, and have had positive comments when I mix purples and blues together to get a peacock look. The green lipstick that day was for the mermaid effect.

Finally, I am a geek. If you’ve followed this journal, if you’ve known me for any given length of time, you k now I was raised as a geek (though I’m sure my parents weren’t actually intending for that to happen). Yes, I was a little stung by this. At first. But then came the amusement. That was supposed to be an insult? I’m proud of myself for being daring and expressive with how I apply my makeup. I’m proud of myself for being a geek. I know so many amazing people because I am a geek. The geek is part of who I am and who I shall always be. It says more about the people trying to use the geek and the daring aspect about my life against me than it does about me.

So that’s one person’s attempts at insulting me, trying to put me down. This morning, as I’m going through one of my daily morning rituals, I get a notification from fanfiction.net that I have a private message waiting for me. This person has taken it upon herself to say the following: You’re a bitch, you know that?

Now, like most people, this took me by surprise. This is an out of the blue message. There’s that initial moment of why would you say that to me and the desire to ask said question. I also couldn’t help but laugh and be amused by this because, yes, my friends, I have used the label of bitch as a badge of honor for well over twenty years. It’s been a shield for me, and it’s something I would get labeled as anyway because I am often outspoken, I am stubborn, and I refuse to bend to how others want me to be. I am me. I really don’t want to be an imitation of someone else because, at best, I’d be a poor and pale imitation of the other person. Bitch is something I’ve been called many times before throughout my life. I’ve even called myself a bitch.

After the initial “wtf?!” feeling left, I was more amused than anything else. I’m still amused by all of this. I honestly don’t know why this person did this. I can speculate. I could probably ask this persona as well. However, I’m not asking this person why she felt the need to send me a private message, out of the blue, to call me a bitch. I checked my private message history and found no interactions there. I checked my review history, and, like the private message history, I’ve found nothing there as well. I admit to curiosity here, but to try and get my attention by automatically calling me a bitch then giving me no reason as to why you’re calling me a bitch? It isn’t a cool way to go, I’m simply going to agree with you, say okay, and I’m going to move on with the rest of my day. The word bitch isn’t an insult for me. I don’t care if you call me that. I do try to avoid giving people reasons to call me a bitch – I am a professional author and therefore do what I can to behave professionally when in public. I have speculated a little bit on this, but, again, I’m moving on.

With that, yes, I’m moving on. It’s been three weeks since I was approved for Exhibitor space for Tokyo in Tulsa. It’s been two weeks since I’ve paid for my Exhibitor space for Tokyo in Tulsa. For my Facebook and Twitter friends, you already know this. I have 96% of what I need to have a spectacular display for this. My mother will be my table buddy this year, and she’ll be selling crocheted items like hats, tablet covers, bookmarks, and more. I’m very excited about this. I have an artist on board to do the cover art for the Arc of Fantasy paperbacks, and Arc of Fantasy is getting a relaunch. I’m going over the first two publications and updating the manuscripts.

Finally, I’ll be starting up some live feeds on Facebook. The first one will be a week from this upcoming Wednesday, at 9 pm central. I’m going to share a story with everyone, though which one will be a surprise. (I haven’t decided yet.)

Tune in next Wednesday to find out!

Ideas Can Be a Dime a Dozen

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Recently, I found out that a friend of mine, through another mutual friend of ours, has an agent to help her get published. Yay! Congrats to my friend (you know who you are) on having secured that. You can be quite the envy of all my writing friends seeking representation in this tough world we call publishing! (Seriously, I’m crazily proud of her for this. I personally am not seeking representation or a publishing house at this particular point in time, but that is subject to change, based on personal goals.)

When our mutual friend told me this and suggested that I speak with her about what she learned, I didn’t immediately leap to send that message. I do hem and haw a little bit, based on what others have told me about their personal experiences and what I’ve learned on my own as well. That and I figured our mutual friend could tell me as obviously this friend told her and why hold back on some of that information? The mutual friend did comply with what she knew, and, in between texts, I did comply with the suggestion. A phone call later in the evening, and I have today’s blog post

One thing my friend suggested is the whole round robin/gathering ideas aspect of storytelling. It’s something I have actually actively avoided for the longest time. It’s not so much of a “it’s my pie, and I don’t want people putting their grubby fingers into it” attitude as it is “I will run with this and you may not like where it takes me” attitude along with a “you like this idea so create it yourself” attitude. The last bit sounds harsh, but I’ve always approached this with a more encouraging aspect. If someone approaches me with an idea, I want to see them create what’s in their heads when it comes to fiction writing. i want them to unlimit and express themselves in their particular vision. That’s how I am, that’s how I’ve operated, and I will probably continue to do so.

There is also another reason why I do hesitate on taking ideas from others. Several years ago, I had someone from another country approach me with ideas for one of my Star Ocean fanfiction pieces. While I really didn’t want any ideas for this story (I had not posted anything of the sort anywhere in the author’s notes that I was actively seeking ideas), I decided to listen to be nice and to see if I couldn’t encourage this individual to start writing for himself. As a writer, that is one of my goals in this life. I want people who come across whatever I’ve written to start writing their own stories.

I believe I’ve written about it before in this blog, but I’ll go over this again. This encounter eventually turned ugly. The person became insistent that I use his ideas and that I execute his ideas in the way that he envisioned instead of allowing me free reign on what he was offering me. I’d even made it clear that, if I did use those ideas he presented, those ideas would go with my interpretation and not his, which really pissed him off. It got to the point where he was telling me that he’d done a working to bend me to his will and threatening to travel from England to where I lived in the U.S. in order to kill me all the while bragging he could get away with it because he was nobility.

Mind you, I didn’t take the death threat seriously. I laughed in his face about it because I knew where I lived and I knew that if he tried, he wouldn’t be able to get away with killing me like he claimed. I still reported him to the federal authorities because a death threat is still a death threat. (And, if he had tried to come to where I lived, he’d have found himself facing a number of guns in his face because, while the county sheriff’s office never patrolled the area, it was, in fact, countryside with a lot of farmers and a lot of people knowing they had to defend themselves and their homes from unusual activity because the county sheriff’s office never patrolled the area.)

After that, readers have still offered up ideas in reviews. A lot of times, I have hesitated. Sometimes, because, as I’ve said, I want to see them write their own stories. I’ve left a story open-ended just so people could write their own endings with their own ideas and inspiration. A couple of times, I’ve rejected ideas simply because they were too cliched, too overused, and heading in a direction that would have been detrimental to the story I was crafting at the time.

Now, this isn’t to say I have never taken up someone else’s ideas. I have. I adopted a Star Ocean idea from someone because I liked the premise. I’ve read Inuyasha stories where the ideas were poorly executed and thought to myself, I can do better than that. And in every case, there has been one thing consistent in all of it.

I’ve had free reign to listen to the ideas, and I’ve gone where the ideas have personally inspired me. That is extremely important when it comes to storytelling and an author asking for ideas from the readers.

I bring this up because of this conversation with my friend and because I really do want to build my platform. I do want to build a following, and I do love hearing from people on what it is I’ve created and how it excites them as much as it excites me. I’m not opposed to receiving ideas if I ask for them. Unsolicited is the trickier aspect for me. I’m currently working on my Arc of Fantasy series along with a few fanfiction projects, and I’m attempting to revive an old project from back in the day. And here’s why.

Ideas can be quite tricky when it comes to an author receiving, rejecting, and/or accepting and developing them. The IDEA itself must grab me. It must grab me by the shoulders, shake me around, and say,  “I want you to write me out”. There is nothing worse than taking an idea you’re not excited about, not happy about, and executing it to appease someone else. If that idea isn’t going to grab me, intrigue me, and tempt me into writing it, I sure as hell don’t expect it to captivate my audience nearly as much as it would have if I’d been excited about it in the first place.

I will speak only for myself on this. If/when I start to ask for ideas on something, if you suggest and I reject, please refrain from taking it personally. Chances are, the idea didn’t excite me as much as it excited you. And, if I encourage you to write it yourself, I do so because I believe you have the ability to make your idea come to life, maybe even better than what you believe I could do for you.

After all, you will never know if you refuse to try.

Now that I’ve said all of that, when will I be taking ideas? We shall see, my lovelies. We shall see!

Until the next time!

Doing the Whole Creator Thing And Courage

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First of all, I want to take this moment and send out a very huge and appreciative thank you to everyone who has picked up their copies of my books, be it ebook, paperback, ordered online or in person. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Every purchase means the world to me. Sigyn’s Flowers happens to be the most popular right now, and that’s awesome.

Second, I want to give a shout out to everyone who has taken the chance of putting themselves out there, either with success or not much luck at all. Being a creator is difficult work at best. Many people will draw, write, compose whatever comes from within them, and it can become quite nerve-wracking. Sharing what we’ve created with the world? Well, that can be quite downright terrifying.

I don’t care if you’re doing fanart, fanfiction, fan parody videos, or are creating original content. If you’re sharing with the world or even with one other person, you have some serious balls, my friend. If someone’s shared something with you and you’re just as excited as they are for what they’ve created, you, too, have some serious balls. And the world needs more people like that. Courage and kindness.

I recently watched a one-month old video from some Youtubers who go by the name Screen Team. I was introduced to their work almost five years ago from a former co-worker. She told me, and showed me, their parody video of Avengers Assemble, which I thought was hilarious. I looked up a few of their other parody videos as well, and I’ve been hooked since. Their video last month talked about how they’d taken the time to decide if they were going to continue creating content and, if they were, where they were going to post their content. They’d run into issues of death threats and stalking (Angie Griffin, specifically) and the issues they’d run into with Youtube not notifying subscribers of their new content.

Fortunately, they decided that they were stronger than the hate that’s out there. One thing I have always admired about them was their geek positivity for geek culture. And they do everything themselves. They’re not a huge production, and they’re doing what they’re doing because they love it. If I was in a relationship with someone, the way they interact with each other and share the same geeky interests would be among my #relationshipgoals as well as what Morticia and Gomez Addams have. Any time there’s someone out there who can inspire someone through the content they create, through encouragement alone, that’s something that needs to be commended. It takes courage to put ourselves out there, and, as I can personally attest to, creating content isn’t always easy. It’s a long and agonizing process that’s filled with highs and lows. Creating content takes a huge chunk of time out of anyone’s life. That takes a lot of dedication and discipline to do.

Now, I understand that there is the darker side to the whole Creator aspect. I’m aiming for the positive, the ones that connect people, leave them feeling lighter than they had before the content reached them and filled with light and love as well as a sense of community. Those who build people up with their content are the most amazing people out there. And we do need more people like that.

So be kind, my friends. Be loving, and be courageous. If you’re a fellow Creator, keep creating. It’s risky business, but someone’s gotta do it.

Writing Struggles – Making It Personal

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And this is quite personal for me, too, talking about this.

In addition to working the two jobs right now, I’ve found my motivation to work on Ravensrealm lacking. The two main characters, both of whom are seventeen years old in this story, are growing by 1/4 inches but remaining rather stale and stagnant. Perhaps it’s something I should have expected. They’re seventeen, in college because they’re wanting to accelerate their lives beyond their current means – note: poverty doesn’t exist in the sense as we know it, at least not in this utopian futuristic society I’ve crafted, but basic human emotions do remain, such as love, anger, sadness, jealousy, and so on  – and, well, teenagers can be notoriously stubborn in what is they see and want in this life. They can be willfully blind or they can be willfully aware.

However, be that as it may, that’s hardly the issue with the progress of the story. I realized that my two main characters have no personal connection to the quest that they’re on.

None.

Zero.

Nada.

They’re just on this quest because they’ve been chosen for it, and it’s a quest they wanted to undertake in the first place. Yet, they still have very little in the way of personal connection. It’s a quest, something for them to do, without realizing what’s at stake. And, when I realized that, I kept thinking to the scene from The Core where two of the scientists involved were talking about why they were on their mission. The first one, the American (played by Aaron Eckhart), knew precisely why he was on this mission. So did the other scientist, a guy from France (played by Tcheky Karyo), and this is what he said:

“I came here to save my wife and my two children and… seven billion lives… it’s too much. I just hope I’m, I’m smart enough and brave enough to save three.”

So every character has a reason for why they’re on this quest. They’ve been asked to, they asked to, and they each have a stake (to be revealed throughout the story) as to why they’re on this quest to get to Ravensrealm. Alethea and Jordan do not.

At least . . . they didn’t before this weekend. Now that I know what their issues are, I can fix this and just simply tie it in with a few things that have already been revealed.

Ravensrealm is going to be a beast of a story.

I feel invigorated to keep going, now that the hair pulling is over.

Revisions will be another story.

Remember, my friends, if the story isn’t personal for the characters, it isn’t personal for you, and it isn’t personal for the reader. Think on your characters and their relationships. What do they stand to lose? Is what they could lose greater than what they would gain? Sometimes people fight, not to gain something new, but to keep what they already have, and it can be quite the powerful motivation.

With that, I’m off to get some more writing done.

Until the next time!

With the Digital Age Comes Great Power and Great Responsibility

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Ah, the silence of a writer working two jobs and trying to carve out writing time! . . . In addition to maintaining some form of cleanliness, health, and spirituality. (On that note, I really do want to make me some mugwort tea at some point. That stuff is so yum!) Oh, and let’s not forget the internet presence. Yeah, I’ve been one tired woman as of late.

I have, during this time, been doing a lot of reflecting on a variety of things. One thing that has come up is, well, Amazon, of all things. I joined a book reading group a while back, and I had someone tell me that Barnes and Noble tends to overcharge on books. This was in a discussion about Barnes and Noble closing stores and laying off the higher-paid employees, which, if you’ve ever paid attention to modern history and business practices, this is not a new thing. Nearly every company in the history of the modern industry has done this. Ford, Chrysler, GM, Wal-Mart, Target . . . there are very companies that have not done this practice, and to call one company pretentious over this practice (which was done) on a day I’d found out that I wasn’t getting my full federal refund, well, it became a bit of a nasty argument because, hey, having to sell books for dirt cheap isn’t a really good way to make a profit for anyone. Places like Amazon and Wal-Mart can do this because they buy other things in bulk or they have contracts with others in order to compensate for those losses.

In the end, this whole buying books cheap instead of the list price as set by the publisher (which is what Barnes and Noble does, by the way, so if you’re thinking $10.99 is overpriced for a paperback, then I have no clue what to tell you) doesn’t hurt the publishing company. It doesn’t hurt the likes of Amazon or Wal-Mart. It tends to hurt the employees of bookstores, and it hurts authors.

The woman who pointed out that selling books cheap on Amazon guaranteed actual sales. Yes, it’s true that lower prices does guarantee that someone somewhere out there will buy that book. That’s a given, that’s a no-brainer.

That, however, doesn’t mean the author is making a huge profit, be it a beginning, self-published author or a traditionally published author. Let’s break this down a little bit.

The average paperback costs anywhere from $8.99 to $11.99 in a bookstore, depending on the book’s thickness. And let’s say that it’s a tradtionally published author’s paperback. Let’s say that, for every book sold, the author earns 10% of those sales. Again, this is the asking price as set forth by the publisher. This price covers the costs of the bills for the facilities, the typesetter, the cover artist, the editor, and so on and so forth, including the advance the author received for the publishing contract. Let’s say that, once the advance is covered and paid back, the tradtionally published author receives 10% of all sales. For those of you who suck at math, that’s $.90 per book sold, more if the book costs more. If Amazon is selling the book at a 5% discount, the author has to sell twice as many books just to get that $.90 royalty. To put it this way, instead of earning $179.80 for selling 200 books sold at the normal, list price in one month, the author is earning half of that. In order to that $179.80 before taxes, the author has to sell 400 books at the discounted price on Amazon.

To note here, this is if the author is only selling 200 books a month, has had the advance paid off, and is only selling primarily on Amazon. This is also an example of how a discounted price on a new book undercuts the author only. The publishing company and Amazon are already taking their cuts from the sales of these books. They’re not hurting at all for these discounted prices, and this is only on paperbacks, which is the more popular format for paperbound books.

This doesn’t take into consideration the stress an Amazon employee goes through, running from one end of the warehouses to the other for those customers who opt for next day delivery. Their wages might be better than a Wal-Mart employee’s, but they work their asses off for that money. (And Amazon has come under scrutiny for their near slave-like working conditions as well as praised for their competitiveness in the field. Read this https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/19/technology/amazon-workplace-reactions-comments.html for more on the pros and cons of working for Amazon.)

The indie author, when it comes to paperbacks, does have it better in that regard. As an indie author, through Amazon, I get a higher royalty rate for using CreateSpace. They still take their cut. I might have a list price of $8.99 for a paperback, but I don’t see that full $8.99.

And then there’s the whole ebook situation. Traditonal publishing houses, if you ever look at ebooks, tend to have very high prices on their ebooks. Amazon wil try to make them out to be the devil for it, but, again, let me remind everyone that Amazon gets their cut from every book sale. Depending on how the options are set up by the publishing house, Amazon takes a 30% cut from every ebook sale. That’s what they use to cover their costs for said ebook. If a traditionally published ebook is listed at $7.99, Amazon is making $2.40 from that ebook. Why do they complain it’s overpriced then? Well, the claim they make is it’s for the readers. Ebooks should be cheap and accessible for the customers, and it totally disregards the amount of time and effort that has gone into crafting a book. They get 30% off of every single ebook sold on their site. This includes the indie author. The publishing house is still trying to cover the costs of their bills, i.e., the cover artists, the editors and so on. Again, they’re trying to make their profits to keep themselves in business, and they’re using that 70% to do so. (Of course, I presume at this point that the publishing companies have the same exact options for ebook publishing as the indie authors do, given that that’s what I see when I go into my publishing account on Amazon.) The tradtionally published author only starts to see royalty checks once their advances have been paid off. Now how the traditional publishing houses split that 70% between them and the authors, I don’t know. I do know there was a huge lawsuit over ebook profits seven years ago where the authors sued their publishing houses for back profits because they find out the publishing houses were lying about ebook sales. (And they won this lawsuit so I presume it’s a 50/50 split of that 70% so, in this case, the author is actually receiving a higher royalty rate from the book sale than the paperback.)

The ebook situation is where indie authors actually tend to lose out more. Let’s say that, for an ebook priced at $7.99, the traditionally published author is receiving $2.79 per ebook sold. The indie author, in order to sell, has to price an ebook cheaper. The highest Amazon will allow an indie author to go without some type of pricing warning is $3.99, and they would prefer it if the book was priced less than that. Now here, at the $3.99 price, the indie author is making the same as the traditionally published author whose ebook is priced at $7.99. Still, Amazon would rather those indie authors price their books cheaper. So let’s run with an ebook price of $1.99. Out of that, the indie author receives $1.40. The indie author has to sell twice as many books to try and catch up with the traditionally published author in this respect. All because Amazon says books must be cheap. It matters little if the author in question has spent hours upon hours upon hours of writing, drafting, revising, and editing the story. It matters little if the indie author paid an editor $500 for a job and an artist another $500 for the cover art. The indie author is expected to eat those costs and be paid very minimal for time worked.

To put it this way, expecting any author to work for less pay is like expecting a union worker in an auto factory to have their pay cut from $20 an hour (or whatever a union auto worker makes an hour) to the wages of a server, which is $2.13 an hour. If you wouldn’t expect to be paid less for the work you’re doing, why do you expect an author to do the same?

We’re at this point in the digital age where just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean it’s a great deal. Somebody somewhere is losing out and still struggling to make ends meet, and we do need to be responsible, not just financially for ourselves but economically overall. My time in Washington taught me that. Washington has one of the highest minimum wages in the U.S. They’ve seen job creation, but they still have an influx of people heading there to find those jobs that are paying better than places like Oklahoma or Michigan. They have more people than they do jobs. And, as long as indie authors are being told they have to sell their books, their projects, their hard-earned efforts for less than minimum wage, we’re going to see a die-off of newly published works or perhaps authors who can only publish every so often because of the other demands made on their time. Ultimately, it’s going to come down to the readers as to whether or not authors can continue with their chosen careers.

Now, if you’re a reader and you want to tell me how your own pocketbook is more important because you need to save money for all of this, hey, believe it or not, I do get it. I’m one of those people who, if you gave me $500 to go spend in a bookstore, I’d take it and get every book I possibly could, but I don’t have that kind of money so I buy books when I’ve planned and plotted that money out. Like I said at the beginning of this entry, I work two jobs already. I’m still struggling to get my next publication finished. But also understand this: telling me that my time and effort has to be reduced to less than minimum wage is severely detrimental. It forces me to spend my time doing other things when I’d rather be sitting down and writing my books. This is true for any and every author out there.

You cannot have cheap and still have dedicated authors out there. Not in this digital age. In the end, everyone will be hobbyist writers, and you won’t have much material to buy when you do have the money. In the end, we’ll simply be too busy trying to survive working two jobs or more just to pay our bills.

I know that sounds harsh, but it’s a realty many authors, tradtionally published and indie, are facing right now. You, the reader, have the power to make or break any author’s career. Use that power wisely.

Toughing It Out And Using All of the Tools Available to You

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Writing is such a pesky business. It’s time-consuming, it’s demanding. It isn’t always convenient for the writer in question. It takes a lot of courage and perseverance to be a writer. It really does. There are the hours upon hours upon hours of crafting that first draft, going over it and crafting that second draft, and sending it through for critique and revisions. It’s such a pain in the ass because we don’t always want to hear that there’s something with this baby we’ve managed to push out after, well, longer “labor” hours than actual childbirth. We don’t want to be rejected, yet that rejection is necessary. After all, if we’re not receiving a rejection letter, how would we know if the agent or publishing house we’ve queried is actually the right fit for us and our goals as authors? Yes, self-publishing is a great way to circumvent that, but then we still experience rejection in that people may not be buying our stories.

I’ve mentioned in the past about a woman who stopped because the rejection letters were too much, wouldn’t consider joining a different critique group or even self-publishing her works, despite my efforts to encourage her on that path and to try and test the market with her themes. Even as a niche writer, she could have found valuable information and used that to market herself to the next agent or even the same one or to one of the very few publishing houses who don’t require authors to have an agent for submitting manuscripts. I know a guy through Scribophile who has two series started, the first two books are published to Amazon, but he hasn’t published anything since 2015. I know. I’ve checked because I was in the process of critiquing Book 2 of his distant future, science-fiction/fantasy series. This guy also has more reviews on his first book than I do between all four of my books. Mind you, real life could have gotten in this particular author’s way for continuing his series; I know my real life has been a bit of a drag and caused me delays on Ravensrealm. The only thing even keeping me on this path of a writer is my own determination to succeed and to keep improving, to have my own stories out there. I love writing. My life would be infinitely easier if I stuck with just fanfiction. I wouldn’t have to worry about revisions, about promoting my works in order to garner sales, or deadlines. I wouldn’t have to worry about much of anything writing and publishing fanfiction to designated fanfiction websites. I could simply enjoy writing (which I do anyway).

But becoming an author is something I’ve known I’ve always wanted to be. I’ve innately known it since I was a child. I do this because I love the stories I’m crafting, even as they frustrate me and leave me filled with self-doubt on how well they’ll be received.

I keep at it. Now maybe the difference between me and other people is the fact I grew up poor. And I mean poor. My biological father preferred to live off of state assistance. We got food from the Salvation Army pantry. I learned the value of a job and hard work through my mother after she separated from and divorced my biological father. I had more than enough people willing to try and knock me down for what I wanted in my life, and I could have listened. The odds might be against me in so many ways, but I would rather pursue this, tough it out, and keep at it than give up and ever wonder “what if I had just kept going”.

The last thing I want in my life is ask myself “What could have been if I had at least tried”. I was once fearless. I am working on being fearless once more.

So, even though I’ve not had much in the way of sales for my books, I refuse to give up. I will remain strong in my endeavors.

After all, writing isn’t easy. Those who think it clearly don’t do it.

Stay strong on your writing path, my friends. Write, write, and write some more. Get the feedback you need to improve, and remember you can always be improving. Coasting through life just isn’t fun or meaningful.

Until the next time!